Since my earlier post (Christian Manga – the Good, the Bad and the Okay) seems to have risen to a high rank on Google, I’ve been getting a number of responses and queries about Christian Manga from various people interested in creating Christian media of various sorts, and wanting to hear what I thought about it. Therefore, I’ve decided to post a series of follow-up posts, dealing specifically with my thoughts about the creation of Christian manga.

One of the important things to note about the Japanese manga industry is that it is very targeted. The market is very clearly segmented by audience, and every manga magazine specialises in publishing stories for a select group of people. The most common demographic segments in manga (at least in the stories that are popularised overseas) are the ones targeted at shounen (young boys), shoujo (young girls), seinen (young men) and josei (young women) audiences. Each of these manga demographics has certain conventions in theme and style – derived from the psychological needs / state of its’ audience, and historical developments in the field.

This post will deal with the topic of audience and themes – specifically, with the shounen and shoujo demographics.

Shounen Manga

Shounen manga caters to young boys, typically around the age ranges of 10-18 years old. Examples of well-known shounen manga include Naruto and One Piece (action/adventure), Detective Conan/Case Closed (mystery), Eyeshield 21 (sports), School Rumble (comedy) and I’’s (romance). One of the biggest trends in shounen manga is the ‘battle manga’ style of storytelling, most commonly identified with the manga magazine Shonen Jump. It centres around the direct and personal resolution of conflict through individual combat / battles of skill. These can be combat skills (Naruto, Bleach, Rurouni Kenshin), or it could be brainpower and deductive skills (Conan, Death Note), or other skills in different areas (football skills in Eyeshield 21, spiritual powers in Shaman King, cooking skills in Yakitate Japan, etc.).

For creators, it is helpful to think of the themes that appeal to this audience of young boys. Shounen battle manga tends towards themes of ambition, camaraderie, competition and power – becoming the best at something, with the help of friends. And each character in shounen manga is known by a few characteristic skills – the ninja techniques of Naruto and his friends, the specializations of the sports players in Eyeshield 21 or Slam Dunk. At this stage of development, many boys are starting to deal with their adolescence, and issues of identity. And for boys, identity is constructed and determined by one’s abilities in competition with others. A boy is known by how well he does something – his abilities and skills – and how he compares to others in the ladder rankings of power and status… whether determined by rough games in the neighbourhood playground, exam rankings in the classroom, trophies on the sports field, or in the fantasy land of the manga world.

To engage young boys, then, your manga needs to touch on some of these themes: ambition – wanting to become the best at something, camaderie – finding friends and comrades to help you on your way and fight next to you, competition – facing and overcoming challenges, and power – when and how to use your strength to fight for your ideals. Boys follow the strong – strong of arm and strong of heart. How can you show the strength and heroism of Christianity to young boys? How can you create Christian role models in your stories that are kakkoii (“cool”)?

For the most part, those themes deal with the majority of shounen manga. Shounen and seinen romance and comedy manga have some different challenges, which I’ll talk about in another post. But for creating shounen battle / competition manga, those are the essentials.

Shoujo Manga

Shoujo manga caters to young girls, roughly 10 – 18 years of age. Unlike shounen manga, shoujo manga tends to be more diverse in terms of subject area, conventions and storytelling style. The major genres of shoujo manga are the magical girl genre (exemplified by Sailor Moon), historical/fantasy adventure (Inuyasha, Fushigi Yuugi), romance (Ouran High School Host Club, Hana Yori Dango), everyday life drama (Fruits Basket, Baby and Me), and what I like to call the ‘ambition’ genre – which is usually about a girl who has one particular talent that she pours her whole heart into (usually creative arts or sports), and her developmental progress in that talent (Glass Mask, Skip Beat, Yumeiro Patisserie).

The three top themes to remember when creating shoujo manga are “relationships”, “dreams” and “drama”. Regardless of the setting, style or storytelling, all young teenage girls are interested in developing relationships between people (especially romantic ones), pursuit of their hearts’ desires, and how dramatic happenings in the plot impact their favourite characters. A large part of adolescence, for a teenage girl, is discovering the web of social relationships that underlie her world, and then figuring out or negotiating her own place in it. “Where do I belong?” and “How can I pursue my dreams, in spite of challenges?” are common questions that you need to deal with in the course of your story. There almost always is an internal conflict between the inner ‘true self’ of a girl, and the outward requirements of her societal position or situation. This is the basic engine that drives most girl-oriented storytelling across all mediums, from movies (Disney’s Mulan, High School Musical) to books (Anne of Green Gables, Sweet Valley High) to TV shows (Gossip Girl, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) to magazines and games.

When bringing themes of Christianity to young girls, again, the focus should be on relationships, drama and dreams. What is a relationship with Jesus Christ like, and how can she benefit from His influence in her life? How can Christianity help her overcome obstacles and challenges in life, especially in terms of finding/making her own place in the world? What kind of dreams does a Christian girl have, and why are they so important? Will Jesus / other Christians accept her for who she is, or place another burden of societal expectations and responsibilities that conflict with her identity? How will her relationships with other people grow, change or diminish with Christ?

Since I don’t belong to the demographic, I hesitate to say more. But one thing I’ve learned – a good cast of characters is essential. Since most of the story is driven by either internal conflict or societal relations, you need strong characters with clashing views. Preferably a strong male lead and a strong female lead in conflict (plus some unresolved romantic tension). And there are no perfect characters in manga. The good prince is a goofball or a gullible idiot. The dashing rogue has anger issues or a traumatic past hurt. The reliable friend is prone to jealousy or misunderstandings. Even the rival or enemy usually has a touch of goodness within him, to balance the overall evilness. It is the flaws in the character stereotypes that make interesting reading.

Thought #2: Most Christian games aim at imparting knowledge. That’s not my goal. My goal is to create games about Christian PRACTICE. Let the player feel what it’s like to be a Christian, by putting them into a shoes of a practising Christian. Not by telling them the theology or history or message of Christianity. Show, don’t tell. And it’s very possible that my game really will appeal a lot to the casual game crowd, who want to experience games which put them into familiar roles they see, with ordinary people in real-life settings doing their everyday activities.

I accepted Christ was I was 13-14, in my secondary school Christian Fellowship. We had a youth pastor who visited us every week from Calvary Church KL, and he would speak at our meetings. One of those meetings, he gave an altar call, and I accepted Christ then as my Lord and Saviour. The next year, the seniors who were leading our CF graduated, and I and a few other of the younger ones were left to form the  nucleus of the next generation of CF leaders. So I became a leader of the CF. There was a committee of about 4-5 of us, and we had a very good teacher advisor – Ms. Yap, who helped us organise meetings. I was a CF leader, but I didn’t really know much about what a life in Christ entailed. The CF was just an event – a weekly activity that we would organise. It became more of a social gathering than anything else. We ended up playing games most of the time.

Then when I got to college, out of sheer inertia, I sought out and joined my college CF. If I was a Christian, then I thought I should join and hang out with other Christians in college. That was my thinking at that time. Christianity was a social group identifier for me. So I joined the Taylor’s College CF, which was also known as the Mid-Week Service, and we were partnered and hosted by the Asian Youth Ambassadors, a Christian youth organization founded and led by Pastors Kenneth and Sandra Chin (they’ve now birthed a 700-member church out of the seeds they sowed during that college ministry).  After about a year, I was approached to be a leader of the CF… to be part of the committee. Eventually I became Secretary. While I did grow a lot in my own Christian walk during that time, my service in the CF wasn’t really about my service to God. It was just something I had to do. A list of tasks to do in order to keep an organization running… and I was comfortable with the organization, and I didn’t want to see it stop, and somebody had to do it… so I helped do it. That was my attitude. I didn’t want to see the CF stop, because that’s where all my friends were, so I took on the burden of helping to organize meetings, to keep things going. In the process, I learned the procedures of how to run a morning prayer meeting, the order of a typical service / cell meeting, and all the nitty-gritty that goes behind the scenes of running regular youth meetings.

But still, what I was interested in was running the meetings. People were only incidental to me. I had friends, of course, but they took a back seat compared to the desire in me that “the show must go on”. The program was important. If you stick to the program, and people got blessed by it… well, good for them. The program has fulfilled its’ purpose. If people didn’t get blessed, then it’s okay. Just keep trying with the program, and things will work out eventually. At that time, I also had a very vague conception of what “being blessed” meant.

As I look back now, I wonder if I really touched anyone’s life at all while I was in college. I think I impacted only one or two people significantly… my friend and classmate Chuan Shern, who I invited to a camp where he got saved and whom I helped to serve as an example and give advice on the Christian perspective on things sometimes after that, and my junior Vivien, who had just recently accepted Christ, but didn’t know how to do quiet time. I explained what that involved – “a mini-church service by yourself” – and lent her the bible study book that I had found very useful in my own formative Christian growth. She thanked me for it later, and told me that my explanation and the book had really helped her grow. But other than that, I don’t think I really made much of a difference in people’s lives. In fact, I’m pretty sure I made a few horrible or embarrassing mistakes along the way. (I can still remember my first time as an MC for the service. Ouch.)

This carried on into university. Being the good Christian boy that I was, I visited all three Christian organizations on campus, and half a dozen churches before settling down in Community of Praise Baptist Church and Varsity Christian Fellowship. I joined the dedicated Bible study group on Mondays (Swordfighters), as well as three cells – on Wednesday (Science CF), Thursday (PGP hostel CF) and Friday nights (DNA church cell) respectively. Tuesday was the CF-wide Sunset Prayer meeting. After about a year of that, I had burned out. I left the church, got into video game addiction, and only joined PGP CF (the VCF branch that had meetings in my student hostel) once a week. Because of my background, I was asked to help co-lead Bible studies and cell meetings for PGP CF in my second year of university, and I did so… again, it was more of a “keep things running” mentality. I tried to organize daily devotions and prayer meetings, because I thought that’s what a CF leader should do. But my heart wasn’t really in it, and the efforts died out eventually. Thank God, I wasn’t the PGP CF chair… each year I was serving, I found someone else who could be the chairperson representing our branch to VCF. I was always the number two. Maybe God was gracious, because frankly… I don’t think I would have made a really good cell leader at that time.

However, what PGP CF taught me was the close-ness and the bond that can grow up between people who meet up regularly every week. Even until today, several years from when we’ve all graduated, we still try to gather at least once a year to catch up. And I learned how to prepare and lead small group Bible studies and worship during my 3 years at PGP CF. And I polished my eloquence in praying out loud for other people too.

So there I was. I had all of this experience. I had all the skills to effectively lead a small group, honed through years and years of Christian meetings… nearly 8 years in leadership of various Christian organizations and cells. I could run a cell group meeting all by myself from start to finish without any problems… and I often still do so. Frankly, looking back at it now… I honestly wonder whether I made any difference at all to the people I’ve met and the lives that I had the privilege to care for. I believe the last 1-2 years have made me grow more than anything else in terms of my understanding of people and God’s heart for them.

When I accepted a leadership role in Branches – the young adults cell I’m leading now in church – I had a lot of reservations. I had already learned from experience that if God didn’t call you to a ministry, don’t bother stepping in. It’s a waste of time, because it won’t grow. During my years as a leader in all of the other ministries, they didn’t grow. I didn’t want to repeat the same experience here. I spent three months in prayer (off-and-on) about it, and needed a lot of encouragement from Sylvia (the previous Branches cell leader), plus the prospect of co-leadership with Huiting before I agreed. And even then, it was partially a responsibility angle again – Huiting didn’t want to lead by herself, and if she wouldn’t, then Branches would have no leader. So I filled in the other half necessary for Huiting to lead. I ran the meetings, and she took care of the members.

However, it was only after Huiting got married and left me with the sole responsibility of leading Branches that I really started to grow as a cell leader, I think. Many things have changed since I first took up leadership. In fact, of the original Branches group from Sylvia’s time, only Natasha, myself, Li Ping and Darren remain. All the rest has changed. I’m really grateful and thankful for God’s grace upon our cell, and for each of our new members. And somehow, this last year has been a year of great growth for me, I think. With no one else to share responsibility with, I now had to be the one to start caring for the members spiritually. I had to listen to them, pray with them, share my life stories with them and disciple them and help them grow in each of their personal, individual walks with God.

And I have never been more blessed.

This is what cell leadership is all about. It’s not about how to run meetings, or lead Bible studies. It’s about the day-to-day, spiritual watchfulness and care over the people whose growth God has asked you to be a part of. It’s about discipling them, watching them grow into spiritual maturity. It’s about listening to their problems, and helping them find answers and solace in His words, as well as in practical matters. In a weird way, I thank God for each and every problem that my cell members bring to me, because it gives me an opportunity to grow in love for them, and to learn the limits of my own abilities and why I need to depend on God. This is real. This is meaningful. This work touches and changes people’s lives. It’s not about running meetings, or planning programs. It’s about changing lives. About finding ways to help people grow.

There’s still a lot I have left to learn. But this past one year has taught me so much. And by the grace of God, I will continue to grow to accommodate more of his love shining through my life.

Just recently, I read two manga series one after another – both dealing with Christian themes, but vastly different from each other. The first was Little House with an Orange Roof (a.k.a. Orange Yane no Chiisana Ie), and the second was Let’s Bible. The contrast between the two serves to illustrate an important point.

There is a difference between using Christian themes as a variation of a medium’s standard tropes, and using the standard tropes of a medium to explain Christian themes. One applies the Form of Christianity, but leaves the underlying structure and content unchanged. The other leaves the forms of the medium unchanged, but applies Christianity to change the structure and content. In simpler terms, Let’s Bible just uses Christian names and symbolism as a thin layer for what is in all essence a shounen action-comedy series. On the other hand, Orange Roof starts with a typical seinen romantic comedy setting, but gradually introduces Christian themes and messages through the behaviour of its characters. You can easily tell the difference once you read them. The creator of Orange Roof is a practising Christian – he himself gives testimony in his author comments at the back of every chapter (chapter 10′s comments are translated, for an example). Let’s Bible, on the other hand, is drawn by a pair of Korean artists, who seem like they absorbed the surface knowledge of what the Gospel means and the major characters of the New Testament (probably from cultural acquaintance), but are not actually practising Christians themselves. Or perhaps they are practising Christians, but have not found a way to integrate their faith into their works.

To really create a good Christian manga, you need to have a strong background in the techniques of the medium, an understanding of its tropes and how to use them to tell a good story. And then beyond that, you must really think about the message, and how to best encapsulate it in a way that FITS with both the properties of the message, and the properties of the medium you are using. Orange Roof did it well. Let’s Bible did it terribly, because it fit the medium, but didn’t fit the message. A third manga, created by Americans, called Serenity, also tried it… that one fit the message, but didn’t really fit the medium. It was okay, but because it was targeted at American teens, there were certain stylistic choices that moved it away from pure manga and into a different sort of comic. It fit THAT comic medium very well, and I think it thus was a success on that level (as also proven by sales), but the medium was no longer that of manga.

In order to really create good Christian media content, you need to find a common ground where both the medium and message can meet and synergise properly to create something unique. The themes of Christianity must go deeper than surface level – in fact, sometimes they can be buried under the guise of what seems to be typical fare for the medium, but become more explicit as you delve deeper or further into it.

This is the problem that I also see in the Christian games industry. The reason why so many Christian games are bad is because the creators either lack a deep enough understanding of the medium they are working with (Christian educators who are trying to make games because they think the people they want to reach out to would be interested in anything if it comes in a “game” package), or they do not have a deep understanding of the message they want to bring (gamers who want to enjoy the same sort of games they’ve always played, but slap “Christian” labels on it so that they can feel justified in front of their non-gamer Christian family).

AND IT’S NOT GOING TO WORK.

You can’t slap on a “Christian” label to a standard hardcore game and expect that it would be good. Likewise, you can’t just package a “game” around what is essentially a bunch of Sunday school material and expect that it would be appealing to the audience. What is needed is a fundamental approach to the problem of designing Christian games – you need a deep understanding of the properties of the medium and the properties of the message before you can truly design a good (and fun) Christian game. The current games out there enjoy some limited success because of the sheer hunger of people for such games. But it’s limited. I believe that when we can see the real thing, we’ll appreciate what the difference is between a slapdash approach and a fundamental design approach. Unfortunately, that time may be a long time in coming.

EDIT (9 June 2011): Since I’ve been receiving numerous comments about the contents of this post from people interested in Christian manga, I’ve decided to post a series of thoughts about how manga intersects with Christianity. You can read the first of the follow-up posts here: Creating Christian Manga – Audience and Themes (Part 1)

I was reading a book on design research recently, and my mind returned to the topic of Christian video games. Lately, I’ve been exploring Facebook and Facebook applications, and how everyone in the industry is saying that social networking is going to be the next big thing in games. This train of thought merged with another one, which noted that many Christian groups are going online nowadays, through Facebook, and meeting and supporting each other online via social networking sites.

Is there any way to combine the two, I wondered?

You see, one of the primary difficulties I had, when thinking about how to design Christian video games that would be fun as well as accurately reflect the Christian lifestyle is the fact that Christianity is very much founded on lifestyle choices and relationships. Much of what happens in daily Christian living takes place through social interactions between people… and it was very difficult for me to reduce that to a mathematical model in a single-player game. I would effectively have to build a simulation – sort of a SimChurch – just to accurately reflect Christian living. And then, I would also have problems with my players perhaps not being able to relate it back to their real lives.

But what if I made a game which intertwined their game lives with their real ones? What if I broke the magic circle that most games have, that place the game outside of reality? What if I deliberately designed a game which would take advantage of the social connections between Christians that are starting to grow on Facebook, and used that as a platform for them to continue to build relationships with each other, while teaching some aspects of Christianity at the same time? And that could also be used as a tool for outreach too, especially to their non-Christian friends on the same social network?

I think I’ve got an idea for such a game. Admittedly, it’s not groundbreaking. I’m basing a lot of the design off similar patterns I see in other games on Facebook which have proved to be successful, like Mafia Wars, Restaurant City and FarmVille. All of these use a design and business model that heavily capitalizes on the social aspects of Facebook, getting people to post messages to each other, and interact through the giving of gifts or cooperating to solve missions. I want to go along with that trend, but create a slightly deeper game (though it’s still going to be casual), with Christian themes in it.

I want to create a game about missionary work, where players take the role of missionaries doing outreach work at remote mission fields, each with their own challenges. And there are missions which they have to accomplish, which require the cooperation of friends as well, like smuggling Bibles into the village, or raising of funds to build a school, or similar things. Essentially, this game is targeted at young people (or older people, even), Christians who have never gone on a mission trip. I want to expose them to some of the challenges and activities that underlie a mission trip, as well as include a follow-through action in the game which would perhaps mobilise them to volunteer for missions. I could include links to real mission organisations, and others. Basically, the goal is to raise missions awareness, and educate the uninformed about what Christian missions is all about.

Am currently investigating Facebook developer’s platform. But I’m not sure if I have the time to work on this game. I’ll probably also need partners and money to develop and launch this.

It’s not the most original of ideas. Sure, it can probably be quite popular, if it’s launched now, because there’s quite a number of games that are similar already on Facebook. Still not my most ideal game, but it’s a step closer.  The trouble with Christian video games is that the message or core values of Christianity don’t often mesh well with the strengths and techniques of the video games as a medium. Video games are very good at process, and systems… at teaching people how to DO things, and work their way through problems, and gives rewards for successfully achieving something. Christianity focuses not on works, but on faith, surrendering to God all of life’s problems. It focuses not on achievements, but on relationships. How can you merge the two? That is the difficulty of design in this field. I need to find the rare instances in Christian living where the two can meet. Missions work is one of them (maybe). Social networking games can put relationships in their proper place in Christian games. But what else is there?

Packed to the brim.

HELP!!

Somehow, these last few weeks have started to seem really crammed to me. For one, this week was the start of tutorials, so now I have to actually spend more time preparing for each class and marking afterwards. Then there’s the graduate studies, where I have to compile a reading list of research material and actually get around to reading it. Which takes up another big chunk of time – not to mention that I’m considering changing my topic, which could potentially double my workload as I read a little of both and decide whether it’s worthwhile to change or stay. Then there’s ministry, which is starting to ramp up as the Young Adults Zone is getting its’ act together under a new pastor and I’m being tapped for more involvement in church activities, plus ministry training and preparation. Then there’s the NUS Games Development Group, which I’m also trying to help and train. Then there are a bunch of friends that I’m trying to spend time and hang out with.

All of these add up to a huge amount of time.

Surprisingly, even though it’s exhausting and I occasionally find myself just blanking out at my desk… I like the sensation of being able to live life fully. And I still find little pockets of time to rest. But I’m well aware that I can’t maintain this pace indefinitely. Sooner or later, something’s going to crack. And when it does – when I fall down exhausted from running the Red Queen’s race, I’ll be left behind and struggling to catch up, in even more of a rush than before. I think it’s only by the grace of God that I’ll be able to stand this pace. What’s more if I start to follow the inklings of my heart and pursue romance once more.

Which is why, before that happens, I must must MUST discipline myself to spend time in prayer. Martin Luther once said (and this is one of my favourite quotes):

Work, work, from morning until late at night.  In fact, I have so much to do that I shall have to spend the first three hours in prayer.

I don’t know if I have the stamina to spend three hours in prayer like he did, but I’m coming to understand that prayer IS a very vital component to sustainable spiritual life. And so, it is important to pray. Now it’s just a matter of actually doing it.

Lately, I’ve been seriously thinking about changing my Master’s thesis topic away from “Nonverbal Communication Channels for NPC Interaction” to “Video Games as a tool for Christian Education”. In other words, I’m thinking about making the object of my research and the object of my hobby the same thing – make a Christian video game, and do research based upon it for my Master’s thesis. There have been several reasons why this is happening:

1) The gaming industry and gaming academic circles are now going into the original field of research that I was planning – nonverbal communications, using body language, gestures and facial recognition, etc. What seemed new and exciting and innovative at the time to me is now less so, especially because whatever research I do will take 2 years to come into fruition. I’ll be behind the forefront then.

2) The original research topic was, simply-speaking, too big a topic for me to research at a Master’s level, I think. Just making the game alone would be extremely challenging, especially since I don’t have the faintest idea who I can work with, and it’s not really a project I can handle by myself. Or rather, anything which I alone do in this field will almost surely be substandard, and I don’t want that. If I want to do something, let it be good. If not, don’t do it.

3) I find myself talking a lot more about the making of a Christian video game to other people than I do about nonverbal communications channels. I think I’m perhaps more comfortable with that after all… although it is a little frightening, because I feel sometimes intimidated to suggest that as a formal academic study in my field. It feels like I’m shouting “I’m a fundamentalist Christian!” in a room full of liberal humanists / atheists. That’s sort of holding me back… even though in my rational moments I think it’s just an irrational fear with no proof… still I feel awkward, declaring myself that way.

4) I already found someone who’s interested in helping out – a programmer and a former VCF friend of mine, Jeremiah Goh, who’s now working with the Fellowship of Evangelical Students here in Singapore. That’s one skill which I lacked for the other project, but is present here. Also, the technical difficulty of implementing a Christian video game is a lot less than that of implementing a non-verbal communications channel game. I can actually see and have an idea of how to design the game I want for the Christian video game.

5) My original intention behind the nonverbal game was eventually to lead up to research into emotional-centric games like counselling, negotiation, etc. However, that in turn was supposed to lead up to games featuring Christian-centered activities (pastoral counselling, etc.). Why not just cut the loop short and go straight to making Christian games from the beginning?

There are a few objections causing me to hesitate, though;

1) I don’t have a clear internal sense that this is where God is leading me. Although a lot of the external signs seem to be lining up, I am asking for a clear sense of direction and conviction on the inside before pursuing this for the next two years, and so that I can continue on despite objections and criticisms in the knowledge that this is what God wanted me to do. I think I want to pray more and consult with other godly people before really going ahead.

2) Frankly, although the Christian component, and the implementation and application details are much clearer for this project, the academic and research part is a little weaker. I’m not sure how to approach and frame the study of this topic for my thesis.  Should I make a game and measure its’ effects on my target audience? Should I instead study the audience’s reactions to playing this game? Should I try to derive principles of design for religious games? Should I talk about how to embed religious instruction into games? Which approach is appropriate for a Master of Arts and Social Sciences? I’m not sure. Is the game which I want to make even aligned with Christian education principles in the first place, or is it just another fun game with Christian stuff in it? It’s entirely experimental, and because I think it’s novel and not much has been done in this field, I can’t tell whether it’ll succeed or I’ll have a failure in my hands after 2 years. Should I dare it anyway?

Maybe I should go up to minister to others more often.

I need to step back, take a deep breath, and relax.

And I realise that it’s not my job to solve all my students’ problems for them. Nor is it my job to ensure that they get a pleasant and interesting experience out of this course, and leave with good feelings and much accomplishment. My job is to Assist the Teacher, as a Teaching Assistant. It may be my desire to help out as much as I can, but it’s my duty to let them go through this period and learn for themselves, experience the stress for themselves, and make their own decisions on how much time, effort and motivation they are willing to dedicate to this project. By stepping in to help all the time, I not only lose my own sense of objectivity, but also may be making my students less-equipped to handle the real world stresses and taking away their free will.

Ultimately, my job is not to make sure that every student succeeds, nor is it to make sure every students learns something. My job is to teach certain lessons. Learning and succeeding must come from a conscious choice by the students themselves, or else it has no value. I’m not very good at showing “tough love”, but I think that’s something I must learn to do next semester, or I’ll get emotionally-swamped under again like I did this semester. But I think I should be open and honest about it – I will announce to the students beforehand so that they know this is what to expect from me, rather than just acting that way and letting students think that I’m just mean by nature.

But yet, looking at them, at the amount of work and stress they go through, and based upon my own memories of projects I did when I was a student, I can’t help but feel sorry for them. What a sad world we live in, that we must stress and burden ourselves so much in order to succeed. I wish our academic system isn’t so achievement-focused. And yet, this is what the industry and business world demands. It’s the product of the capitalistic society, where the Darwinian law rules in the free market economies of talent and money. In a sense, our students right now are still ‘sheltered’ in academia, because they haven’t been exposed to the full harshness of the working world’s struggle to survive. And so, I have no choice but to prepare them for the system.

Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:
“Cursed is the ground for your sake;
In toil you shall eat of it
All the days of your life.
Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you,
And you shall eat the herb of the field.
In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread
Till you return to the ground,
For out of it you were taken;
For dust you are,
And to dust you shall return.”
- Genesis 3:17-19, The Bible (NKJV) -

Never has the curse of struggle and conflict in work laid upon mankind due to Adam’s sin been more apparent to me until now. The “survival of the fittest” rules which cause so much grief to so many in the world today came about as a direct result of sin’s curse. Oh, how I wish I could turn socialist or communist. But they don’t work as governance systems unless a Perfect Being is ruling at the top, and people who don’t exhibit “human nature” (i.e. self-centredness) are helping to govern. Have to wait until Jesus’ return and the Millennium Reign before we can see a perfect socialist/communist state that lives up to their ideals. Until then, I have no choice but to live in a capitalistic world and propagate the system in the classroom to the young people I’m teaching.

Anime/Manga: The new anime season is starting from this week. A bunch of interesting shows that I’m thinking about watching…  Cross Game (the latest story by my favourite mangaka, Adachi Mitsuru), K-on (another KyoAni product, in a similar vein to Lucky Star), Tears to Tiara (fantasy adventure), and Winter Sonata (yes, the classic Korean drama is being turned into an anime. Goodness knows what it’s going to be like). I’ll probably post more in-depth thoughts on these another day.

Books: I’m kind of oscillating between a couple of books at the moment – David Drake’s When the Tide Rises (the 6th book in the RCN series that I’ve been buying regularly from Webscriptions), and Rhys Bowen’s series of Constable Evans Mysteries, which are a bunch of mystery novels set in rural Wales around the early 1990s. Kinda light reading.

Christianity: The search for a Senior Pastor for our church (since the last one left to become a missonary a year ago) has finally borne some results – a Rev. George Butron was unanimously recommended by the committee to be the top candidate for Senior Pastor. He’s scheduled to preach for 3 Sundays before a vote will be taken by the congregation whether to accept him or not. So far, he seems like a nice guy and an engaging speaker, based on his sermon today. Lots of anecdotes and managed to share his own testimony while putting out an altar call. As a speaker and preacher, I think he might be okay, though there were a few careless errors here and there with regards to Scripture referencing. I haven’t had a chance to see how well he operates as a teacher or pastor yet, but there’s still two more Sundays (and Easter) to go.

Games: Playing Baldur’s Gate a lot this week. Actually, I’ve been playing a lot of games this week – Hourglass of Summer (the other visual novel that I went to great effort to get), Baldur’s Gate, and dabbling in a bunch of other games. But mostly Baldur’s Gate. I had bought the entire set (Baldur’s Gate, BG II, and both expansions) some time ago for a really bargain price, but never got around to playing them seriously until now. Now I’m planning to finish them before I lose interest again.

K-Pop: Nothing much. Watching a little bit of everything – following SNSD in variety shows, a little bit of Family Outing, a little bit of We Got Married, and a little bit of Coffee Prince.

Shows: Have decided not to go for Cats. Must save money. However, my cell and I are planning to watch a movie this Good Friday holiday. Finally, I can use that free movie ticket that I’ve been hoarding up for  nearly a year now. It expires this month, so I’d better use it fast. There’s supposedly a new Jackie Chan movie coming out…