I just finished “Wolf’s Blood”, the sixth and latest installment in the Firekeeper series of fantasy novels penned by Jane Lindskold. I’ve been following this series for the last two months or so, and it’s proven pretty interesting. Essentially, Lindskold tells the story of one Firekeeper, a feral human girl raised by intelligent wolves, who was found and brought back into medieval human society because it is thought she might be the missing heir to the throne. But that’s just the start.
Soon, with rival kingdoms at war, political skulduggery, sorcery and secrets hidden for generations coming to light, and even rising tensions between the humans who birthed her and the intelligent Royal Beasts who raised her, Firekeeper goes through a whole host of adventures in lands fascinating and foreign. What I really appreciate about this series is the depth of the world-building involved.
Lindskold may not always tell the most riveting or action-packed of stories, and the plot sometimes staggers along without being as smooth-flowing as some other writers, but the sheer depth and complexity of the thought that has been put into the world that Firekeeper inhabits is mind-boggling.Whole societal structures, belief systems, languages and syntax, geography, history and magic are created and viewed through the eyes of the simple girl who thinks she’s a wolf, and finds out that she’s something much more complex. The clash of cultures and worldviews is something that comes across very well, and it’s a treat to see how deftly that’s handled by the author. It’s a world that rivals Tolkien’s Middle-Earth for its depth and richness (with the possible exception of Elvish poetry).
And the author takes advantage of that excellently. Time and time again, Firekeeper and her wolfish companion Blind Seer are whisked away to foreign lands, where they have to deal with even more complex societies, where politics, magic and religion mix in strange new forms. More and more, with each successive book, mysteries about the world and the secrets behind the Plague that destroyed all magic-users generations ago are revealed. New societies of Man and Beast co-existing in different ways… and how Firekeeper acts as a catalyst upon the world, changing the way things work, bringing more of the world’s nations together, because she is separated from all of them. And her essential loneliness is shown to us too… a being in between the worlds of Man and Beast, belonging to neither and both at the same time.
Admittedly, the narrative is complex and can sometimes get a bit bogged down in political drama and the endless travelling between countries. It sometimes feels like the narrative of a MMORPG fetch-and-carry quest, where the main character constantly travels from one end of the world to the other, bringing messages and fighting battles along the way. Yet the sheer richness of the world and the mystery behind the magic is something that keeps drawing you back. If you can take the slow and complex pace, and enjoy the richness of the world, you’ll find this series an enjoyable one.
Wolf’s Blood feels like the culmination of the entire series, though the ending is predictably open-ended. But many beloved characters from the older books are brought back, every nation that Firekeeper has visited is helping in some way, and one of the biggest mysteries of the series has been solved. True, there is still room for expansion – knowing what happened is not the same as reversing the process – but the very fact that the two worlds are now connected once again gives hope. It feels like an ending… and Firekeeper seems to have accepted her relationship with Blind Seer. A satisfying stopping point for me. But who knows? If Jane Lindskold does continue to write Firekeeper stories, I wouldn’t mind going on to the next adventure of the wolf-girl.
One of the hardest things to find in this world is someone who is ready and willing to listen to an introvert.
You see, the people around me always live such busy and active lives that they rarely have time to sit down, do nothing, and just listen for several hours at a time. Every day – every year – I find myself becoming less and less willing to share with other people about my life, simply because they don’t have the patience to listen for several hours while I try to find the words that express my doubts, my fears, my thoughts and feelings. Extroverts have it easy. They can say whatever comes to their mind immediately, and connect quickly and simply. Introverts have a harder time of it – especially Idealist introverts. It takes time for me to open up. And not just time, but demonstrated care and concern as well. I can only truly open up to someone if I know that they care enough to spend time waiting for me to voice out to them, and put away all other distractions and concerns to focus solely on listening to me. And that can take hours.
It’s something I’ve only very rarely experienced with my parents – maybe once or twice in the last 8 years. I remember it happening more often when I was younger. My Dad and I would talk in the car while travelling back from my college, or when picking someone up. My Mom and I would talk over the dining table after dinner, or during teatime. And the time I failed at university – that was when they were willing to sit with me to listen to me, and let me take my time to verbalise all that I felt, all that I thought. Those were the memories I treasured most about my parents… though it took a string of “F”-grades to bring them about sometimes.
Maybe that’s why I became such a good listener. Because at heart, I knew that everyone wanted someone to listen to them. Someone to show care and concern, someone who was willing to sacrifice hours of time they could have used to spend Doing Things, and just listen instead. My primary criterion for a soul-sister – the first indicator that lets me tell whether I’ve found a kindred spirit or not – is this ability to Just Listen. That’s why I love spending time with my soul sisters, and we often have multi-hour-long conversations every time we meet. Because we both Just Listen to each other – for as long as it takes. And sometimes, it takes a long time to get down to the root of our fears – to peel away the layers that we are used to showing in casual, shallow conversations and go deep to the bottom of our hearts. To have heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul talks.
People go around with layers on their hearts. There’s a shallow layer you show to acquaintances at work or on the street or at church – the standard “I’m doing fine” reply to the perfunctory “How are you?” question that everyone asks in order to be polite. Sometimes, with people whom you meet regularly and have deeper connections with, like cell members or close colleagues, you can drop hints about your current situation – “I’m angry about this”, or “Today I got a bonus!” And those can be taken at face value… maybe it’ll lead to a stream of small talk and decent mid-level sharing. And you go away, with your feelings slightly eased, vaguely okay. And most people seem comfortable with that. If you practise it daily, then I guess you could get by with regular doses of middle-level conversations every day, and never miss what you don’t know exists… that soul-deep, bottom-of-your-heart kind of conversation you can only get when someone Listens to you for several hours.
But if you’re an introvert surrounded by busy people, nobody Listens to you. And so the urge to speak builds and builds, but there’s no friendly outlet. So you’re constantly vaguely dissatisfied… lonely and trying to share with the people around, but no one really bothers to Listen.
My parents and most of my friends wonder sometimes how I can get so jazzed up after one good conversation. They don’t believe or don’t understand how just one conversation with my soul sisters – with someone who Listens – can keep me on a euphoric high for several days on end. They sometimes think I’m overexaggerating. I’m not sure if they understand the concept of soul nourishment – a deep conversation with someone who Listens is like a drink of water in a desert, or fresh bread to a man starving for months. Maybe it’s because they haven’t had these kinds of conversations before. Maybe they don’t need them like I do. Maybe their personalities are different, or they imagine that the mid-level conversations they have with their friends is the closest things will ever get. Maybe they’re just too busy, wanting to Do Things, and can’t see the value of “wasting time” doing nothing but sitting and talking. I don’t know.
All I know is, nobody Listens to me.
Every week, as a cell leader, as a friend, as a son, I get called upon to Listen to somebody. I spend hours on the phone and over meals, listening to people. I keep taking in more and more things from other people’s lives – their hurts, their insecurities, their problems, their hopes and dreams. I Listen, and make them feel good to unburden themselves. I Listen, and they feel cared for, comforted to know that someone understands what they’re going through – someone’s willing to pay attention to them and soothe the hurts in their soul. My family, my friends, my cell members… even my co-workers – they all need someone to Listen, and I do that for them.
But who does it for me?
That’s why I have this blog, really. I write in it all the thoughts and feelings I have… all the things I want to say but never can say because nobody listens. They have to come out somehow. So I write on a website that nobody reads… kinda pathetic, but there’s always the off-chance that someone who values me might read it. Even if they don’t, at least I’ve voiced it out. The pressure’s slightly eased. But it’ll never go away until somebody listens.
And frankly, I don’t see that happening anytime soon. No one in my family has been willing to spend hours to Listen to me for the last few years, all too busy with their own lives. Of my three soul sisters, one has a constant irregular schedule as a flight attendant, and the other two are studying overseas at separate colleges, and I don’t even attend the same church as them anymore. And of my two oldest friends, whom although they aren’t soul sisters have learned how to get me to share openly after 10 years of friendship… one is halfway around the world, and the other is preparing for marriage. And my oldest friend here in Singapore is already married. And the only other person here whom I think has the potential to grow into another kindred soul is so busy with so many problems that I think I need to spend more time Listening to her than talking to her.
So. Nobody Listens to me, and it looks like nobody will ever really listen to me. I wonder if that’s the reason why I fall so easily into addictive or self-destructive habits sometimes?
Just came back from watching the musical Duck and Dive, performed by the I Theatre group. It was a really enjoyable performance… my first musical in Singapore. I was a bit hesitant and doubtful at first, because I wasn’t sure of the quality of Singapore’s talent (compared to watching Les Miserables on Broadway, NY), and I was wondering how I would react to humans acting as animals. I came away pleasantly surprised. Duck and Dive was a charming show… not entirely perfect, but the strengths were many and the weaknesses were relatively few.
The story is a family-friendly tale that weaves together the story of the Ugly Duckling and the Frog Prince becoming best friends as they travel in search of the answers to their problems together. While the beginning was a bit jarring – the opening court scene with the Prince and Princess fighting amidst their guardians planning for a royal wedding seemed rather affected and unrealistic (not to mention reminiscent of The Swan Princess animated film) – the real meat of the story starts to shine once the animals get involved.
The costume designs for all of the creatures were very well done, especially the ducklings, heron, weasels and the hedgehog. It was also aided by the superb acting of the cast members in those roles… it’s true that some characters can really bring costumes to life. Speaking of acting, I was extremely impressed by the two leads – Isabella Chiam as the Ugly Duckling Cygna, and Tan Shou Chen as the Frog Prince Anura. Their body language was really well acted out – Chiam had the goofy overgrown duckling role down pat, and her sense of comic timing and facial expression was impeccable. Tan was highly-detailed in his performance – I remember watching his hands remaining splayed-out as a frog throughout most of the show, and he also managed to incorporate a costume malfunction (his webbed foot fell off) into part of the routine. It’s the little things that count.
I was also incredibly impressed by three of the supporting cast that had multiple roles to play. Candice de Rozario was a standout figure in both acting and singing – she was the only one in the opening court scene which I felt was believable, and her voice work in her song solos as well as the mother of the Ugly Duckling was wonderful. Dwayne Lau played the human regent of the Frog Prince, an oracular peacock-guardian of the Ugly Duckling, and the villainous heron out to eat our heroes. While he still could improve further (the regent character seemed underdeveloped and the vocal style and characterization could have varied further between the disparate roles to further differentiate them), his acting was still dramatic and engaging. Hang Qian Chou was one of my favourites throughout the whole show – he was cast as a variety of comic figures throughout the musical, and he played each of them distinctively and with gusto. Rayann Condy, who played Erin the hedgehog, also deserves mention for the delightful character she brought to life with her superb acting.
The other actors and actresses weren’t as strong as the ones I mentioned above, I felt… some had more visible weaknesses than others. Hatta Said and Trey Ho both had problems with clear diction and pronunciation at times, while Pamela Chong and Renee Chua had issues with overacting their characters (Renee Chua’s cat was good… but her witch character was terrible). Daphne Ong put in a solid performance as a swan and princess, but nothing really stood out positively or negatively. I was a bit mystified by the puppeteers wandering around stage animating flying insects, but hey, whatever works. Surprisingly, I was much more convinced of the animals than I was of the human characters.
Set design and choreography was excellent, and I felt that the ensemble really managed to take advantage of that. Multiple actors acting separately in the background, a few focal points on stage, and some nice intricate dancing occasionally (the dance with the frogs was especially enjoyable). Lighting and special effects were good, especially for the witch’s magics, but the transition was a bit jarring sometimes (which may have been the point… I don’t know). The music flowed excellently throughout, and while not all the songs were memorable (with the possible exception of the “Waddle, waddle, quack, quack” song). The writing was great, with numerous little in-jokes and references to other shows, Singaporean culture, and puns that adults who were accompanying their kids would appreciate. The humor was abundant throughout the play… vocabulary and the rapid speed of dialogue may have been a little advanced for some of the children that filled half the theatre, but considering that this is Singapore, it might have been okay. The only flaw I see with the script is that I can’t really tell how the Frog Prince has changed his character… maybe a bit too sudden, and too much tell, not enough show.
Overall, while the flaws in this show are apparent, there’s also a quirky, delightful charm to the whole production that brings me back to my early days with Disney. It still manages to transport me back into a fairy-tale world of talking animals, and reminds me once again what it’s like to be a child. A delight for the whole family.
Ratings:
Story: A-
Acting: B+
Music: A
Songs: B-
Choreography: A-
Set Design and Lighting: B+
Costumes: A-
Today I listened as one of the lecturers I’m assisting admit that she made a mistake with regards to advising a group of students, and how it was a learning point for her. It was an experience that meant a lot to me, for a variety of reasons. For one, it serves as confirmation to me about this lecturer’s character… that while she may at times resemble a former ex-boss of mine, she has a fundamentally different personality – a softer, gentler one that gives me assurance that my traumatic experiences won’t be repeated in this new job. It’s often difficult for me to overcome the fear and bad associations built up in my mind regarding certain work patterns and mannerisms exhibited by people who are in charge over me, but every time I watch the people in my faculty behave and react to difficult situations or mistakes, I realise once again that I am very fortunate to be in this place. Maybe some day, I’ll be able to regain my faith in the innate benevolence and forgiving nature of humanity, and not constantly cringe or brace for a storm when I make a mistake too.
Secondly, it has also helped me realise that I don’t need to be a perfect teacher. Maybe this is also because of my past – or maybe my past experiences have merely excerbated the natural tendency of my personality to blame myself for everything that goes wrong. If I have failed in my little duties, if I receive any sort of complaint, if I make a mistake or an error, I can magnify it all out of proportion and get really down on myself. Even if I have 99 A-grade students, and 1 student who got only a B+ because of some error in the way I taught or advised him, I will worry and agonise over that one “failure”. What did I do wrong? Should I have done something else? What sort of punishment or bad consequences should I expect for this mistake? Will this person hate me for life? I have let them down… I am no longer worthy of trust, I have failed in my responsibilities. All these kinds of thoughts run through my mind.. and even though I’m wise enough to dismiss the majority of them, still… they occur at least once, and even more if someone else expresses them to me. That’s why I always have a strong desire to act and play perfectly. Even in my games, I can re-play the same scenario over and over again past the point of boredom, just to achieve perfection. I once spent 6 hours replaying 10 minutes of game time, over and over again, to find the optimal series of actions to take.
But I’m learning to let go now, following the examples set before me. While yes, students are important, and to some extent I should feel responsible for them, I needn’t beat myself too harshly if I feel like I’ve failed them. It’s a learning point for me, and I should regard myself as an apprentice at the craft of teaching, not as a master. I can make mistakes. I’m expected to make mistakes every now and then. I’m not perfect. I can learn and improve, and maybe not make the same mistakes again. There is forgiveness. There is hope. There is always a new batch of students every semester. I can hone my craft slowly, iteratively, working until I’ve polished my skills and gained more experience.
There’s so much to learn about the craft of teaching, I realised. It really is a skill by itself. And teaching design is almost as fun as doing design. When doing design, you’re trying to make certain explicit principles become embedded and tacit in the designed product. When teaching design, you’re trying to make things that are embedded and tacit in the designed product become explicit and extract design principles which you can share to the students. It’s the same process, just in reverse. That’s what I find so fascinating about it.
Table of contents for The Making of a Christian Video Game
- The Making of a Christian Video Game – Starting Thoughts
- The Making of a Christian Video Game – Ethical Dilemma
- Christian Video Game as a Master’s thesis?
- The Makings of a Christian Video Game – Facebook
I was reading a book on design research recently, and my mind returned to the topic of Christian video games. Lately, I’ve been exploring Facebook and Facebook applications, and how everyone in the industry is saying that social networking is going to be the next big thing in games. This train of thought merged with another one, which noted that many Christian groups are going online nowadays, through Facebook, and meeting and supporting each other online via social networking sites.
Is there any way to combine the two, I wondered?
You see, one of the primary difficulties I had, when thinking about how to design Christian video games that would be fun as well as accurately reflect the Christian lifestyle is the fact that Christianity is very much founded on lifestyle choices and relationships. Much of what happens in daily Christian living takes place through social interactions between people… and it was very difficult for me to reduce that to a mathematical model in a single-player game. I would effectively have to build a simulation – sort of a SimChurch – just to accurately reflect Christian living. And then, I would also have problems with my players perhaps not being able to relate it back to their real lives.
But what if I made a game which intertwined their game lives with their real ones? What if I broke the magic circle that most games have, that place the game outside of reality? What if I deliberately designed a game which would take advantage of the social connections between Christians that are starting to grow on Facebook, and used that as a platform for them to continue to build relationships with each other, while teaching some aspects of Christianity at the same time? And that could also be used as a tool for outreach too, especially to their non-Christian friends on the same social network?
I think I’ve got an idea for such a game. Admittedly, it’s not groundbreaking. I’m basing a lot of the design off similar patterns I see in other games on Facebook which have proved to be successful, like Mafia Wars, Restaurant City and FarmVille. All of these use a design and business model that heavily capitalizes on the social aspects of Facebook, getting people to post messages to each other, and interact through the giving of gifts or cooperating to solve missions. I want to go along with that trend, but create a slightly deeper game (though it’s still going to be casual), with Christian themes in it.
I want to create a game about missionary work, where players take the role of missionaries doing outreach work at remote mission fields, each with their own challenges. And there are missions which they have to accomplish, which require the cooperation of friends as well, like smuggling Bibles into the village, or raising of funds to build a school, or similar things. Essentially, this game is targeted at young people (or older people, even), Christians who have never gone on a mission trip. I want to expose them to some of the challenges and activities that underlie a mission trip, as well as include a follow-through action in the game which would perhaps mobilise them to volunteer for missions. I could include links to real mission organisations, and others. Basically, the goal is to raise missions awareness, and educate the uninformed about what Christian missions is all about.
Am currently investigating Facebook developer’s platform. But I’m not sure if I have the time to work on this game. I’ll probably also need partners and money to develop and launch this.
It’s not the most original of ideas. Sure, it can probably be quite popular, if it’s launched now, because there’s quite a number of games that are similar already on Facebook. Still not my most ideal game, but it’s a step closer. The trouble with Christian video games is that the message or core values of Christianity don’t often mesh well with the strengths and techniques of the video games as a medium. Video games are very good at process, and systems… at teaching people how to DO things, and work their way through problems, and gives rewards for successfully achieving something. Christianity focuses not on works, but on faith, surrendering to God all of life’s problems. It focuses not on achievements, but on relationships. How can you merge the two? That is the difficulty of design in this field. I need to find the rare instances in Christian living where the two can meet. Missions work is one of them (maybe). Social networking games can put relationships in their proper place in Christian games. But what else is there?
